Daring Greatly

This week it's D so no problem writing about the book more than once!
I am getting to the half way point and notice that quite a few things are repeated from her previous books. It's fine when you have not read anything else by Brene, but I was sort of hoping for something new....so it is with interest that I will begin chapter 4: The Vulnerability Armory. Interesting because I have already talked a little about it myself!

She writes:
" As children we found ways to protect ourselves from vulnerability, from being hurt, diminished, and disappointed. We put on armor; we used our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours as weapons; and we learned how to make ourselves scarce, even to disappear. Now as adults we realise that to live with courage, purpose, and connection - to be the person we long to be - we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen".

Our son has an interview today. It snowed overnight. He has to cycle 11,8k to get there. Along country roads. My response? I've been watching the sky for signs of more snow. I've been outside and cleared the paths so the shed door and the back gate will open for him. I have looked at the map to establish the route he needs to take. I have worried.
What has he said?
"So long as it has stopped by 3pm it's fine".

If he gets the job he will have to cycle that route every day at all hours of the night and day, and I will not be there to help him out. I need to let him do it his way. I need to allow him the space to solve his own problems. I need to push him out of the nest and watch him learn to fly. He will bounce!!
Letting go of our children and feeling confident that everything we have taught them will keep them safe makes me feel vulnerable. I'm a mother. I am used to mothering. I know how to be mother to a child. I learnt how to do it through making mistakes and getting it wrong, and getting it right too. I've been doing it for so long now I don't know how to stop. But I have to. He wants to fly. He wants to prove himself but his wings are not fully grown, and he is still maturing. A friend said to me that she thought children were grown up by age 25.  I don't really believe there is a set age for everyone. I think some are ready sooner and some later. Same as potty training! Some children are dry long before others are but no-one wears nappies for ever!!! We all get there in the end. And so will he. It is okay for us to feel vulnerable. It's okay for him to get on his bike and cycle in the snow. He is stronger than I know.

Which leads me nicely into a little quote:

"Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think". (Christopher Robin).

Dare greatly today and every day.
Sue xx