D proving Difficult

We use many words beginning with D don't we? They are used for emphasis in many ways as the D is quite a harsh sound:

Don't!
Do!
Deny
Destruct
Destroy

Doubt.........which is the one I am stuck with this morning. Not in a good mood really. I am sitting here trying to wheedle out what it is that has precisely undone me this cold and wintry morning. It is important not to lay the blame anywhere external to myself, I realise that, but oh, how I want to!!! I want to stamp my feet and cry 'you are just like the rest'! and I want to feel upset and unhappy (really)?
No, not really, but it is almost an involuntary reaction that forms the chain link in a defensive move that occurs before one even realises it.

Searching into the dark recesses of my amazing brain-maze, I understand that it has to do with self-doubt. I was prodded with the stick and my Pavlovian reaction was swift. Ouch! You touched a raw nerve! Ouch! You made me feel like I know nothing! Ouch! That is how others make me feel too! Ouch! I want to retreat from you all! All part of the past year and what I want to change in 2013. I need to have more self-confidence, I need to think NVC and hold the conversation in my mind that I need to have with myself:- 'It's my defensiveness, not your attack'.
I know that.
I'm walking back towards calm.
Sue xx